Update 5/24/11

i realize i havent updated everyone in a couple days. they have been hard. i have gained some range of motion on my left lower extremity(le) and can bear some weight on that side. i can use that side to stand up and can scoot that leg a short distance. but i still have not been able to bear weight on right side and in both le i have no reflexes. in my upper body like my arms i have very weak reflexes. they dont know why. but all of this changed after the spinal tap. they did the neurological exam before tap and my reflexes were fine and afterwards were week up top and nonexistent in the bottom. when i try and bear weight on right side i fall because my left leg is unsteady and not able to catch me. needless to say my apt has several obstacles to getting me into car and to therapy which is why my reg neurologist wanted me to go to a rehab hospital. once i get up two levels to get on sidewalk to go in my house there is a step up to get into building then there are like 6 steps down to get into my apt. but i have no insurance and no job and my mom is on disability herself. so our income is very limited and right now our rent has gone up and we were in process of moving back to va to be near family that can help out. but i am unable to walk and unable to work once there because i have to have therapy several times a week and i am only allowed to sit for 2 hours a day according to my therapist. needless to say the hospital discharged me knowing i had no way to get into my apt and back and forth to the hospital. i have no wheelchair they gave a walker that i cant use really well and told me that if i miss my app wednes. for therapy i wont get another one till june 3rd. the problem with that is i have to have 4 people (strong men) lift me in wheel chair from apt outside because our apt complex says we can put a ramp up but we’d have to pay for it. also our lease is over june 30 so if we wanted to switch apts they would have to get it approved and we’d have to sign a 6 month lease or a year lease. we cant do either because we cant afford the apt rent at what it is now which is another reason why we were moving. so now i have to move within next week so i can go to and from therapy and its going to be hard with the income we have to be able to do so. but i know my God Jehovah will provide he always does. we are depending on him. At same time, we are worried of course of what happens next for me with my health. my avm is getting worse and i found the risk of mine bleeding is 80% and they come to this conclusion based on a look back at my angiogram scans they notice the wall has weakened so that it looks as though an aneurysm is forming and they cant treat it without making me blind. so we will see what happens next. thought everyone would want an update. take care and remember Isaiah 33:24 promises at one time every resident on earth will not be able to say “I am sick” ever again because paradise is coming. remembering that helps keep me going and i know its a hope that maybe you all can use to help you through as well.