I guess I was silly if I thought this would be simple and all fall into place. When does that actually happen?
It’s been a hard week. There has been many-a-day I don’t feel like getting out of bed and once I’m out don’t feel like I can accomplish anything. I don’t know if this is the Depakote or the Keppra talking or if I’m just feeling down. It’s hard to tell. I would definitely say Keppra has made me touchier. Silly things like my jell-o mold not setting in time, my husband leaving socks on the floor, and my betta fish dying make me want to lay down and cry. My mood changes so fast anymore. Yesterday I had all my things to set up my new aquarium and within a couple hours cycled back and forth between giving up and not doing to ‘i can’t wait to do this!’ probably 4 times. My poor husband… there’s no way he can keep up with that. I start back to work next Monday after some time off and am worried how it’ll work out.
I’m also job hunting which could prove a big obstacle if I’m not allowed to drive soon, but my current work is getting pretty out of control and I have to get out of there.
In addition to everything, my husband brought up to me that he thinks it’s time we consider him going back into the military. He was in the Navy for 8 years and got out so we could get married. Since then we’ve moved him back to Ohio, bought a condo, settled down in small-town America… and now it might all go away. His reasoning is partly because the benefits are so good. Getting rid of my AVM would cost us next nothing and my prescriptions would be cheap. Plus our future children would reap the rewards too. Free college. Wow. This would mean leaving everything though… my job, our families, my doctors, our home. Is it worth it?