Hi all just a quick note to say i am not igoring al my friends but have just had a nightmare few days.
Wednesday early evening I checked in on my mum as she was in bed cause she didn’t feel well. then about 9pm I took ger some juice up Thursday morning before I took Paul to school and I went to college I looked in bedroom and thought she was sleeping, so decided toleave her in peace. 20 mins after arriving at college I got a call from my brother who had popped into she her, he could not wake her up so had called an ambulance
I arrived at the hospital at 10am and by 12 noon she had had a scan and we were told she had suffered a massive brain hemorage and nothing could be done for her. We satyed wither then my brothers went home at midnight and I decided to stay and arranged to call the boys back if anything changed
The doctors did there rounds at 9.45am the next day, they took me to a little room and explained nothing could be done and they did not intend to resusatate, which we had already decided as the damage was to great and we did not want her to live the rest of her life connected to machines etc etc he also informed me that we would se her deteriorate over the next 24/48 hours
I walked back into her room and though she was breathing really strangely, i called the nurse and she told me that this was it, i couldn’t believe it I thought I had more time, i called the boys and they were already on route, I held her told her how much I loved her how much we all loved her till she stopped breathing it was over in mins, the boys burst through the door but they had missed her by mins
I feel so bad at just thinking she was sleeping and going out, I feel so bad as I can’t remember if I told her I loved her on Wed night,I feel so bad not calling the boys earlier, I just feel so bad, can’t believe she is gone can’t believe she never woke up, I now have to tell Paul his Gran is dead when he comes home from his Dad’s on Sun, i am dreading this as he loved his Wee Granny, I just feel bad…
Amanda,I am so sorry that, but dont blame yourself, you didnt know,I will pray for you and your family, you did all the rite things, anyone who of done just as you did, plus, she always knew you loved her, anything at all I can do please let me know, caroline
Hi, Amanda-
I am so sorry to hear about this. Mom’s are so important to our lives and we just don’t want to think of them ill. Just know that she does not blame you for not checking in on here. She would not want you to be guilting yourself.
Amanda, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure this must be a hard time for you. And like everyone else has said, I’m sure she knew you loved her! Just from reading your post, I can tell that you and your brothers loved her. If I know, then she most DEFINATElY did!!! Hang in there.
Dear Amanda,
I am so sorry to hear aout your mom. Don’t punish yourself, Hon…there’s no way you could know it was going to happen. Your mother knows that you love her and she will continue to watch over you and Paul from heaven. I’m here for you anytime you need to talk, my friend. xxxxx
Hey u guy’s just want to say thanks and let you know u all mean the world to me. Not on much just now as so much to do, the fureral is on Fri
Not sleeping much can’t seem to get by 2/3am, just had my Big Bro Norman in for a bacon sandwich as he can’t sleep either, mental.
I know there was nothing I could have done, i know that but you can’t help but think 'wot if’
Anyway i luv you all and i’ll be back real soon
Take Care Everybody
A xoxox
Sorry to hear this has happened to you. I also gone through a similar incident in December 2001 my Mother was visiting my Father (they were divorced but still friends) the day after his birthday and she dropped on his floor. Rushed her to the hospital nearby but tests were done and her heart was too damaged and she died ten days afters after being in a coma. Shear hell. I saw her x-rays and from what I could understand I suspect she at AVM on her heart. She was always complaining of weakness and lack of strength, staminia. Her father similarly. But she also had diabetes which she didn’t take care of, and she was a nurse. I still miss her. My prayers go out to you.
I had a spiritual reading with my most practical sister in company and this person said she had the impression of seeing our loved ones, including my African friend who died from a stroke and my most beloved dog which I never mentioned. She said they were overjoyed. I know I once had a vision when I died as a child of 14 and saw my father’s mother. I didn’t know her as she was so beautiful and young. She sent me back to live again. And recently my father showed some photos and this woman was there. He told me it was his mother at age 22. And when my beloved mother’s father had died, I was in Africa and heard his voice in my ear telling me he had died. I cried myself to sleep until the headmaster’s wife dragged me to the phone and my uncle told me the news I had already known. So, dear heart, have hope and know our spirit continues and your mother is watching over her loved ones.
Sorry, I don’t share this much but I am so happy to have some hope after learning the good news from Dr Kumar. God, I never knew I was depressed until now. My father mentioned how the smile left me for so many years and he missed it so much. Hope!
My dear friend Amanda, sorry I am late to tell some words as I just found out about your mum today. Please don´t blame yourself for anything, just pray for your mum, I am sure she is fine somewhere. I can imagine how hard is for you to tell Paul but I also believe kids can take things easier sometimes. You will always have the oppotunity to tell your mum jhow much you love her, do this during your prayers, she will get your message. If there is something I can do, please just tell me. Lots of love. xxxooo Hugs to Paul.
Hey everybody thanks so much for your messages.
The funeral was on Fri and it went well (as well as these things go anyway), she had a massive turn out which was nice
Paul took it well kids just adapt don’t they
I’m going back to my course this weekas its better to be busy than to sit and have to much time on your hands
Take Care everybody x
Amanda
Only just saw this thread. So, so sorry! What an awful thing to go through. Please try not to feel guilty, you mum would’ve known you loved her. You clearly took such good care of her. I hope things start soon getting better for you!! I hope Paul is OK. XXX
Amanda,I too only reading this today,but my heart goes out to you and your family!!! I am glad to see you are going to your classes,yes it is so much better then not!!! I am sure your mom would have wanted you to continue…Yes little ones are like angels,they see things so differently and seem so strong,much more then us some times.It will be a year of grieving,but let yourself as it is also apart of healing.But don’t beat yourself up,your little one and your brothers need you too…I know your mom loved you and she knew you all loved her.I am glad you were there at the end,I know she knew you were there!!! Blessings and prayers for your family!!!
Oh you poor thing I hadnt read this how are you now you okay?I cant imagine how you feel losing her, Your mum will be so proud of you and she would know how much you loved her,sorry, mad kiwi able to chat anytime you want!
Amanday , I am just after reading about your mom i am so sorry for your loss , but pls dont look at it and blame yourself you done nothing wrong and your mom know tat aswell .
I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t been on-line lately so I hadn’t read about what you’ve gone through. Don’t blame yourself for what happened; you did what you could. Mike
MY GOSH!!! DO I FEEL THE SAME…I was there when my mom took her last breathes and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Sitting here thinking about it makes me cry so much! I’m so sorry that you lost your mom…the 20th of November will be 7 months for me since I lost mine. I wish I would have known you lost your mom last month…i’m sure I could have helped you out in some way. If you need to talk about ANYTHING I am HERE!!! I’m so sorry again for loosing your mom.