I really don't know why!

I had my AVM surgery on 12/26/07. I have never seen a picture of my head during or after my surgery. I had a cousin take a picture of my head and I told him to throw it away. Why I don’t know, but in my heart I think if I saw the pictures, I would not fight as hard as I did to get better. Or maybe I’m just a chicken…I don’t know why. I wouldn’t look at my head for the first six months. I would show other people, but I wouldn’t look at it. Some people are different I assume. But when I look at other people who have pictures, I wonder why I didn’t want to see mine! When my family talks about it, I change what they are talking about. I know I had a masive brain bleed and my beloved Dr. Ogilvie operated on me and saved me, but I onestly don’t want to see what it looked like.

i think thats fine…everyone is different…in the begining i thought i would be exactly the same…i even brought a wig before surgery to wear to cover my bald head and scars…and then after surgery i never wore it …i thought…i had been through enough and i wasnt going to cover it over…but my family did take alot of photos of me in ICU with tubes and on life support…it took me many months to look at them …but i am glad i did in the end it help with emotional healing…but like you said everyone is different and you should only do what you feel comfortable with…

Hi Alicia…It totally wasn’t because I’m the kind of person who cares about her looks…I think, in my case, I just wanted to get better and I thought if I looked sick, I would feel sick. Frankly, there are moments, when my Daughter talkes about it, that I would like to see myself in ICU because I have no memory of it… I think truthfuly, I just wanted to feel normal…think that I had no problem at all. Every person is so different, Thank God! Imagine if we were all the same! BORING!