How do you cope with normal people?

How does being with normal people make you feel? Sometimes I can handle being with them in their normal bubble of a world, and other times I just feel angry and want to be left alone.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Hi Flower,

After my diagnosis I sometimes felt "left out" of the normal world I uased to be a part of. I would look at people who i assumed did not have any major medical issues and would envy them because they didn't walk around every day worrying that they may have a cerebral hemmorhage that could cause a disability. I wanted to go back to the way my life used to be where I didn't have anything to worry about besides what I was going to make for dinner, or what clothes I was going to wear to work the next day.

Over time though I have gotten over that. I have to remind myself that just like me, other people may have medical issues or emotional issues that we don't know about by just looking at them. They may be stressed or worried about a cancer diagnosis, diabetes, or maybe even something like a relationship gone bad. Everyone has challenges in their life and my AVM happens to be one of mine. There are people out there who deal with cancer, ALS, MS, and Parkinsons as well as other neurological and non-neurological issues in their every day life.

I try not to let it get to me too much. As of right now I am healthy, my mind works well and I am able to do everything that I did before my diagnosis besides deadlifting 200lbs :P.

Absolutely understand.
These AVM's are totally personal to you and no matter how hard you explain to people they won't get it and really understand how you feel. So therefore you feel "outside" of the norm.
I know I enjoy my own company a lot more now, however I am a social person and like to be with others, I really don't want to talk too much about my AVM.
I think when you perceive a threat to your body or even life, you feel that most peoples daily trials are meaningless and petty. Stressing over what wallpaper to put on the wall feels totally futile.
What I have learned is there are so many much more important things in life, its these I need to be addressing and feel frustrated with people who don't feel the same.
You are just as "normal" as the next guy, you just have something medical that needs addressing. Once that is done, you will feel a bit different.

yeah. when i went back to school, it seemed like everyone just kinda moved on without me. i was no longer a part of the party scene because of my seizures, and it was just really frustrating to be around ppl who got to lead their normal lives and never had anything like this happen to them. i do get annoyed and love to be bitter about it, but i know i need to get over it. i just want it to be behind me.

Hi Flower - That term, normal, is one that kind of gets on my nerves since I think many use “normal” to describe something that doesn’t even exist; however, that terminology aside, I know what you mean.

I find it especially annoying when someone says “Oh that’s just like when I…”, and it’s so totally not.

Even though this approach is annoying to me, and I prefer to see that “attempt” as just someone trying to do his or her best, I know - even if I have to remind myself sometimes - that, even though that other person may not have the exact same issues as me, he or she has some type of issue(s), nonetheless…and that reminder itself is enough to humble me.

I know we can all identify! There have been many times where I have just retreated into a quiet room to get away. Even during a party at my own house! But we NEED normal people. They are there to help us get through this and remind us why we are fighting so hard to get well.

I break it down into two parts:
I can't get angry at people because they don't act/react the way I expected them.


If an individual is simply a knucklehead with fewer redeeming qualities than a stick, I limit my interactions to as few as possible. If it happens to be a family member, I add I will be contacting my attorneys and remove him/her from my will.

Y’all sound pretty normal to me! I feel bad for those that have it easy, they will never appreciate life as those that see how delicate it is. They don’t see the beautiful canvas of the sky as we do, cannot love as passionately, be as devoted as we can, laugh as hard as we can, cry so painfully, hug quite as hard, or pray as earnestly. I thank God I can live another day and just want to enjoy each breath. Some people never live such a full life. Screw normal!

so true


Hey flower...when I was in the beginning stages of my recovery from GammaKnife (and crazy enough to return to work ten weeks after surgery), I found coping with "normal" people to be rather hard. For the longest time I felt like keeping to myself, because the people who were (or rather used to be) in my life began treating me like I was inhuman because of the way I was while in the beginning stages of recovery. I'd avoid being around people for fear that I others would make me feel inferior due to the mannerisms that I had at that time. I'd end up feeling really depressed and wanted to be left alone, even with my family.

Nowadays, I learning to cope. It's been almost five years since my procedure, I'm doing much better than I was (intellect is not the same, not the best), and it's still a little hard for me. I'm still a tad self-conscious about my mannerisms, my speech and my intellect. I'm handling it a lot better these days, but it's still tough for me.

Now a days I describe "normal" as "whatever normal is."

One of my favorite quotes is "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle." Very true words.

All the best to you, Flower.

Would you mind expanding on your "inhuman"? Would you also mean emotionless or ambivalent?

Hi tdz103m, I probably should of used another term other than "inhuman," but my terminology is something that I know I need to work on. I wasn't really emotionless. I was extremely self-conscious at the beginning stages of my recovery, which clearly showed. I wish I could explain it better. I guess I can say that I was treated like an alien or freak of some sort.